Spy Pages

three-some's are so five years ago

so one of my friends got a visit from a person the other night while we were out....we'll call him FWBBHAGF.....he came from somewhere, we weren't sure where but i remember her damn phone ringing all night and her not answering because it was HIM. so then he shows up....after several text messages back and forth i later found out....so that's how he figured it out...damn, i thought he was psychic or something. so he comes in, starts challenging me to a drink off and to some political debate because he heard i liked to argue. thanks "friend" for warning him....and i could have kicked his ass with my political banter - i mean i still did but damn girl, you gave him some edge. he starts sayin' stuff like "you should join me and "friend" for a little get-together later"- ha, ha". i looked at him with that look you do when you see ashlee simpson trying to sing live....it's just the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard...so then he starts asking me if i thought i could kick his ass....this fourty something dude is asking little five-foot, one-inch, 117 lbs (so i could lose 10....i'm in a transitional period, gimme a break) sal if she thinks she can kick his ass....."of course i can muthafucka.....what'cha think? i'll send you home cryin' to that girlfriend you are lying to my friend about" and yes, i know i can kick most people's asses. i'm not conceded or anything...i'm just stating fact. (and for you who may have kicked my ass...and there was only one but he cheated by tickling - it is still my word against yours) i mean, i am the one who has rushed a denver cop for talkin' shit about my dad, that sonuvabitch.....the cop, not my dad. i have also fought two men in my life....it was fun as hell, and i can take a hit like no other...never been knocked out...knocked down maybe, but not out. (thanks to my bro for makin' me so tough....he used to beat the shit out of me so much that i think i cried for a year straight once) i am also the one who has kicked a many girls asses, well two but they were very tall, in fort fun when challenged....the best challenge ever:

Her: what'chu lookin' at? you want suma this?

me: fuk yeah bitch......
then i ran and punched her so hard in her face she landed her back on the pool table and slid down on her ass - it was like a john woo movie (she had a look on her face like mini-me just beat up jet li ....my guy friends laughed so hard they were cryin' sayin "who knew little sal was a little scrapper....don't fuk with her....she might just lay ya out"......

anyway, back to hairy eye for the bald guy.........
so after about 3 beers and 7 butter-baby shots and 3 boiler makers - each...everyone decides to go back to our friend's house for some more roughage. i wasn't goin' anywhere with "friend" and 3-way freak man. this little scrapper was too loaded and not in the mood to be fightin'....so i put my ass in a cab & went home. i could just see it now...."On Friday night, 29 year-old Spy was arrested on assault charges for kicking the crap out of some bald ass dude with attitude"......it just wouldn't be fair. and besides, how would my friend ever have let him pleasure her knowing he just got his ass kicked by a chick.....it would be devistating.

the moral of the story....don't fuk with a scrapper from sotho.....us trailer-trash, acid-washed-jean-wearin', tobacco-chewin', fake-finger nail bitches know how to rumble......just ask our mom's...the mobile home mama's.

posted by spy @ 5:54 PM